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Lone Star style wedding at Bruno's PDF Print

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Linda and John of s/v Lone Star
John and Linda of s/v Lone Star were united in a symbolic pirate Rio Dulce wedding ceremony Sunday evening (Jan. 9) at the Bruno's Hotel and Marina poolside wedding chapel.

The ceremony was performed by local pirate Portside Tom who used his dagger to challenge anyone objecting to the ceremony .. and also to cut the cake.

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Not exactly a shotgun wedding, but the bride was escorted by an on-duty Guatemalan police offier.

The evening was enhanced by a power outage which occured at the beginning of the ceremony but candles and flashlights were quickly employed and the festivities began on schedule, sort of.

Three Guatemalan police officers agreed to join the ceremony as escorts for the wedding couple and to serve as official witnesses for the event.

A bit of miscommunication with Bruno's employees resulted in the purchase of plastic kids soccer balls instead of festive balloons -- which of course resulted in the wedding couple and guests being pelted with soccer balls. But no serious injuries and not too many spilled drinks resulted from the chaos.

Symbolic pirate wedding ceremony performed by Portside Tom
Symbolic pirate wedding ceremony performed by Portside Tom

Highlights of the evening included Lone Star John's singing and picking as well as performances from Satya and by Kevin, father of s/v Celtic Dancer Derek.

Bruno's general manager Roy sang a couple of Irish diddies but was generally ignored and was  politely asked to sit down and be quiet.

 

The complete text (unedited) of Portside Tom's ceremonial address is as follows:

 Dearly Beloved,

 Brethren & sistern, and all old salts, swabs, landlubbers, square knot admirals, mermaids, and all other creatures of the Rio:

 We are gathered here today to join in holy (and fully) matrimony, these two fine Bruno’s Happy Hour Brunettes, John and Linda

 If there be any here who object to this union, let him chill out and have another drink.

 Now, do you, John, take Linda to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness & all that other stuff, for as long as you both shall live and cruise together?

 And do you, Linda, take John to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness & all that other stuff, for as long as you both shall live and cruise together?

 Then by the power inbreasted in me, I now pernounce you man & wife, Cap’n & Mate, master & slave, or whichever else suits you.

 You may now legally co-habituate together, and may now kiss & smooch in public.

John and Linda of s/v Lone Star with (at left) Portside Tom
John and Linda of s/v Lone Star with (at left) Portside Tom

Lone Star John entertained the crowd with some great music
Lone Star John entertained the crowd with some great music

Cutting the cake
Cutting the cake

First bite of cake
First bite of cake

John attracts adoring fans wherever he performs
John attracts adoring fans wherever he performs

A big highlight of the ceremony was the arrival of Celtic Dancer Derek's father, Kevin, recently arrived from Ireland
A big highlight of the ceremony was the arrival of Celtic Dancer Derek's father, Kevin, recently arrived from Ireland

Party group
Party group

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Satya livened up the evening with her guitar playing and singing

No wedding would be complete without a pirate kiss
No wedding would be complete without a pirate kiss

 
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